Top Ten Possible Letterman Reactions to Fallout Over Willow Palin Rape ‘Joke’

by John Nolte

10. Listen, I didn’t know Willow Palin was 14. She was born in 1995. I thought she was still 13.

9. Why’s everyone so mad? I wasn’t making fun of Barack…?

8. I understand some offense was taken over my remarks last night. If that’s the case, I’d like to offer an apology to A-Rod. Tonight on the show, we have…

7. Careful buddy. You’re criticizing the guy who almost got the “Tonight Show.”

6. I’m a comedian and therefore not responsible for anything I say … ask Jon Stewart.

5. See, you all spoiled it. The plan tonight was to come out and tell a similar joke about Barack Obama’s daughters. But you can forget it now…

4. Everyone just needs to relax. Page, six, paragraph seven of the “Democrat Handbook” clearly states Republican children are fair game. Or is that the “Mainstream Media Handbook” … I get them confused.

3. It’s just been brought to my attention that during the campaign Barack Obama declared Sarah Palin’s children off limits. So, I would just like to say that this will never happen again and I hope the President will accept my apology. 

2. Would you believe I was hoping to be Keith Olbermann’s “Worst Person in the World”?

1. If what I said was so wrong, why haven’t feminists complained?

…Anyone else care to predict?


Dear Mr Nolte- I didn't know if I should laugh or cry.